Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
