i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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