I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
