you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
