And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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