just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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