Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
