i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize