There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
