for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
