There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize