dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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