I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Sorry about my life...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
