Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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