the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
