I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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