i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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