dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
