that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
