Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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