Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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