What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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