1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize