What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
