like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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