Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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