Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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