Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
