He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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