dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I can text with my tongue
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
