if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
