Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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