There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
