We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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