I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
