You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
