I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
