I love black thongs
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Holy sore nipples Batman
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize