this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
