1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
