My boss' voice literally gives me gas
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
