we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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