how can u be prego again
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I am naked and annoyed.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
