No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
