I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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