The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize