I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
