Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
