if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
me + whiskey = a bad person
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
