Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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