these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
