Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
