3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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