with your own penis?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
