2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
