I will die if light touches me.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
