Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
