the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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