trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize