my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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