Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
