i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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