I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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