he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize