i don't like sucking hair
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
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