i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
